Ø Dr Prakriti Poddar, expert
in Mental Health, HR, Corporate and Education upliftment, Director Poddar
Wellness Ltd., Managing Trustee of the Poddar Foundation
The cause of harmony and fulfilling partnership is
what every couple strives for- it falls under the clause of basic human needs
that makes life more cherishable. Yet, violence amongst partner is prevalent
among most cases, with heartbreaking accounts of intimate partner violence
(IPV), leading to worst case scenarios such as death. Any physical, sexual,
emotional abuse, and/or and controlling behaviours perpetuated by a person over
an intimate partner, is considered as IPV, with the afflicted being mostly women.
Perpetrators consist of not just men, but families and near ones too. In India,
its prevalence is great, owing to the patriarchal framework where the men are
given leeway to any unfathomable situation. Here, the society and family values
are steeped in outdated practices, to such an extent that no amount of foremost
education can get rid of this malpractice.
Quick look
on the World of Intimate partner violence
The problem overwhelmingly affects women
world over which is evident in the data presented by the World Health
Organization (WHO). As per WHO around 35% of women in the world have been
physically or sexually abused in some form or the other. Globally, it is
estimated that male intimate partners have committed 38% of women murders.[1]
The Indian scenario is reflective of the
world’s state. As per the latest National Family Healthy Survey Report, around
33% of ever-married women have faced physical, sexual, and emotional or spousal
violence, with at least 30% facing physical violence, 14% emotional violence,
and 7% sexual violence.[2]
While internationally, more than 50% of
physically abused have never sought help from formal authorities or service
providers. In India, less than 14% of women have sought help to stop violence.
Not being exclusive for women, a significant
number of men also are impacted by IPV, which includes both heterosexuals and
homosexuals. In a study conducted amongst 320 men around 46% admitted to
experience some form of IPV including controlling behaviour.[3]
Cause behind
Intimate partner violence
A victim of IPV may have undergone physical
violence of various degrees; forced sexual intercourse or sexual coercion; emotional
or psychological abuse which includes intimidation, humiliation, threats; and
controlling behaviours which include ensuring the partner is isolated from
family and friends, keeping a close watch on partner’s movements, restricting
access to employment, finances, education, or medical care.
A number of factors lead to IPV, which can be
broadly categorised as individual, relationship, and societal factors, and
overall IPV happens to be a larger demonstration of power politics and show of
control and authority.
Individual
factors include
young age, lack of education, exposure to harmful drugs and alcohol, history of
abuse, and personality disorders. Relationship
factors include dissatisfaction and conflicts with partner, patriarchal
value systems in the family, financial challenges, extra-marital partners, low
level of social standing for men. Societal
factors include inequitable gender norms in the society, poverty, weak
legal framework and community acceptance against IPV, lack of women’s civil rights,
inequitable and restrictive marriage laws, as well as regressive and outdated
cultural practices.
Why Women Don’t
Leave Violent Partners?
Multiple factors contribute to women
continuing to be with their violent partners, especially in the Indian setting.
Women with violent partners suffer high levels of depression, are under
constant fear, develop post-traumatic stress order (PTSD), and low self-esteem.
The following factors play important roles in continuing in an abusive
relationship:
·
No alternative recourse. In
the Indian society, patriarchal values are the ingrained in women from birth,
from the time girls develop their understanding they are groomed to become
“good wives and mothers”. Most families refrain from educating the girl above grade
“8” because they believe “pankh nikalj ayeenge.” (She will find her wings). For
a woman, focus on independence is taken away therefore focus on things such as
skill development, art, earning a livelihood are secondary. Wedding becomes the
way of getting handed over from one patriarch setting to another, leaving no
alternative recourse if things don’t go well in either of them.
·
Mental conditioning in accordance with outdated patriarchal
values. From the very young age, the way females are mentally conditioned
is as secondary and as subservient to the male counterparts. Men are assumed to have the first right one
women’s body, sexuality, and decision making.
It is expected for women to keep up to abusive nature. Often women are
held responsible for the abusive nature of their intimate partners, which
ingrains guilt feelings and self-blame.
·
Lack of financial support. Having existed in an ecosystem which is
secondary to that of the men’s, often women are left without any financial
support, devoid of assistance from the parent’s side or the government’s side.
·
Social pressure and stigma. Societal shame and other forms of
societal pressure also contribute immensely in perpetuating abuse and limiting
options for women, forcing them to stay in an abusive relationship. The stigma
of being a divorcee is more for women than men.
·
Calculated assessment to ensure self-protection. The fear of
the worst for them and for their children make women take calculated measures
to devise strategic adjustments for co-existing with abuse.
·
Cycle of violence. Women often fall prey to the cycle of
violence which includes building up of tension, verbal abuse followed by
physical attack, a period of remorse and apology, followed by loving gestures
to make-up for the abuse.
Finding the Way Out
Adopting the
right approach as an individual is one of the solution to these challenges;
However, at
Poddar Wellness, we share some of the following short-term and long-term
measures that can be put to practice to better the situation. Reprogramming of
traditional thoughts and reconstruction of inner resources to build up personal
success.
In fact our
foundation (Poddar Foundation) deploys training at the ground level to the
economically weaker sections.
You can use these strategies to create Short
Term and Long Term success.
·
Short-term
measures: The
short-term measures include that women are guided and counselled to begin
creating a financial safety net by opening bank accounts, direct savings, etc;
connect with community women bodies; develop a safety plan which includes
keeping essentials such as keys, purses at hands reach; identify supporting
individuals amongst family, friends, or peers and keep their contacts handy;
identify emergency shelter outside and inside house as it becomes important to
get away from scene of violence; and most importantly seek counselling to
manage trauma.
·
Long-term
measures: These
are to drive a larger change.
o
Introduce value systems of gender equity for both
men and women in educational systems, homes, policy making, workplaces, and
society. This will trigger behaviour change in present and future generations
of men with better sensitivity and respect towards women and their
individuality, making them equal stakeholders of the relationship.
o
Build a supportive ecosystem for abused partners through
public private partnership in each district for the victims to come for help,
counselling, guidance towards legal assistance, and support if they want to
part ways with their spouses.
o
Strengthen the legal framework Domestic
violence laws and other related legal provisions need to be carefully looked at
for ensuring the legal tools are rightfully used. There is a need to resolve
the cases through fast-track courts and due relief is meted out to the victims.
o
Have a supporting financial sector which gives additional
support to women, single mothers, divorcee, etc., with due riders. The
objective is to help the economically weaker and affected sections function
independently and with reliability.
Depending upon situations and nature of the
spouse, it would help if the spouse can be included in a conversation that
involves seeking counselling or a calmer way of settling differences.
Prakriti Poddar: The Woman who redefined the mental health
paradigm in India
“Dr Prakriti Poddar. Her
story is not story of a common girl, it is story of girl that was seen as
banker of family, it is story of family where it is expected that housewife is better-suited
job, and her friend believed she will be mother. To
earn an income and to support a
lifestyle was difficult; she mothered 3
children, and practiced at home. Internally, the passion did not die. She needed to break the stigma and release people
from their internal, self-imposed bond;, Prakriti
Poddar, today is voice as an expert in mental health area,
thought leader, Councilor in knowledge,
information and awareness, a writer, an
activist and a motivation speaker.
Finally, she is sticking to what she believes in and
creating a platform for people to share their care. Today she is proudly a managing trustee
of Poddar Foundation, of almost only
organization that works with poorest of poor on mental well-being, owner of "Mind over
image" and Director and equity holder
of Poddar wellness limited.”
Born
in a family of bankers, Prakriti was always expected and encouraged by her
father to follow the same career path. Yet, the influence of her maternal
grandmother – who was a faith healer – subconsciously
drew Prakriti towards the idea of making healing a mission of her life. Even as
she followed her father’s dream, it was while interacting with people,
educating them on inner peace and listening to them, that she always came
alive.
After
spending several years in Canada, Prakriti returned to India and started
working in the area of Corporate and Personal Wellness. In 2001 she started her Mind
Over Image Consulting with focus on providing Corporate Counseling, Life Coaching
and Soft Skill Development for professionals while also helping address their
mental health issues. Mind Over Image
Consulting is the only holistic
mental wellness center in India, which imbibes
traditional
counselling and well-being with advanced technological innovations in mental wellness.
Gradually, Prakriti emerged as one of the most prominent voices on mental wellness
in India, at a time when this subject was clouded by stigma. She went on to develop
path-breaking techniques for deep healing and interventions towards wellness,
and became a certified Neurofeedback technician.
Having
spent several years working with corporate professionals and upper middle class
Indians, Prakriti decided it was time to take mental health awareness to the
grassroots and
shift
focus to underprivileged Indians whose mental health was a long neglected
subject.
This
quest led her to found the Poddar Foundation in 2014.
As the Managing Trustee of
Poddar Foundation, Prakriti focuses on creating preventive mental health
programs for the country. The ‘Silence Todo’ initiative by The Foundation aims
to remove the stigma surrounding mental health. The Foundation also works with
schools, teachers, government organizations, gram panchayats, social workers,
anganwadis and communities in order to create a support network for the people.
The Foundation is currently working with over 200 gram panchayats in
Maharashtra and has created a teaching and training manual for social health
workers, teachers, aganwadi’s as well as medical officers. Prakriti has also
conducted a pilot training program “The Prakalp Prerna” mandated by the
Maharashtra health ministry to train medical officers to take mental health
awareness and initiatives to rural areas.
Her path-breaking
efforts in the field of mental health awareness have brought national and
international recognition for Prakriti.
She
was awarded ‘The Iconic Woman Of the Year in Social Service’ by the Nav Bharat
Times.
In
2017 The India Leadership Conclave awarded Prakriti with India’s Most Promising
Woman Leader in Mental Health, Holistic Support and Wellness Model’ award
She
spoke at the Horasis India Meet in Spain on the mental health challenges and
strategies for India to overcome mental health issues
Prakriti
is the Chief Strategy Officer of the National Women’s Parliament, a platform
that gives power to the collective voice of women and works over a series of
issues – from gender equality, sanitation, child rights, environment, to
nutrition.
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